That Time of Day when the sun goes down 2
by thefirstespada
Summary: A sort of sequel to my Twilight Hate filled Rant. This time things get a lot better when certain people get their hands on Edward and Bella


**That Time of Day When the Sun Goes Down**

**But it's not dark yet **

**Part Two **

**This is not a parody but a dream that I had, my dreams are sick**

"Oh Edward you are the dreamiest loner ever." The douche-y vampire acted cold and uncaring but anyone could tell that he was a pussy. "I love you to Bella, but I'm afraid that our love could never be for I am too much of a loner."

"But Edward I love you, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so much, in fact some would say a little tooooooooooooooooooooooo much." Edwards turned away while acted like an emotionally distraught teenager A.K.A Emo. "I'm sorry but our love must be saved for the sequel which will undoubtedly set me for life."

"Okay fuck it, I've had enough." A loud bang came from a nearby bush. The bang came from a gun which fired a large bullet that blew off Edward's leg.

(Really bad acting) "Oh no my leg," Alucard emerged from the bush, "damn this guy has less personality than Keanu Reeves." *drums*

Then Ulquiorra emerged from the same bush and grabbed Edward pulling him up onto his one leg. "You're going to pay for making people compare me to you." Edward looked at his bleeding leg and then at Ulquiorra, "who are you guys?" (Really bad acting) "What do you want?"

Ulquiorra sighed, "Damn this guy has less personality than Shaq. *drums*

"Listen you little shit, there's only room for one emotionally distraught emo boy with a Mary Sue girlfriend and that's going to be me." Edward looked at Alucard, "why is he here?"

"I'm here because you give vampires a bad name." Edward looked at him quizzically, "but I'm a vampire." (Crowd boos and shouts obscenities at Edward, obscenities that I will not list because they are vulgar)

(Well okay I'll list them: Cock, Cunt, Piss, Shit, Bitch Cocksucker, motherfucker, faggot and stupid vampire wannabe boner)

(No offense to Cock, Cunt, Piss, Shit, Bitch Cocksucker, motherfucker, faggot and stupid vampire wannabe boner, I'm sorry that you were all ever associated with this little fuck.)

"Please if you're a vampire then where are your fangs, how come you haven't regenerated, how come you don't summon your familiars, why don't you change forms or even break free of Ulquiorra's grip?"

"Because, I'm too hot to do such things. All I have to do is look emo and the fangirls will flock." Ulquiorra had had enough, "that's it," (tears off Edwards arm.) "Ow that hurt," Seras pops out of bush, "wow he has less personality than Vince Vaughn." *drums*

"Oh there you are Seras; take out the stupid fan girl." But before Seras could blow away Bella, Orihime appeared took away Seras's gun and fired it. The blast blew Bella into a million bloody pieces that Alucard and Seras licked clean. "Wait I thought humans couldn't handle the cannon."

Orihime smiled, "I'm not a human, I'm a Mary Sue and that bitch was stealing my thunder, now I'm the number one Mary Sue."

Edward looked at the bloody mess that was once his love and he screamed. (Amazingly horrible acting) "Nooooooooooooo."

Ulquiorra let go of Edward and planted him into the ground. "Don't worry you little fairy you'll be joining her soon enough." Alucard summoned the hound of Baskerville while Ulquiorra transformed into his Segunda Etapa. Seras changed into her true undead form and Orihime summoned Tsubaki.

Edward gets set on fire, disemboweled, mutilated, sodomized by an Arab, struck by lightening, raped, gets his knees shattered, his teeth are bashed out of his skull, ears are ripped from his head, eyes are pulled out and popped, tongue is severed, throat is filled with molten lead as is his stomach. His anus gets pulled out through well his anus; he is castrated and then is forced to watch them crush his balls under their boots.

Later he gets his elbows broken, wrists are snapped, ankles are snapped, they break off his legs and shove them up his now gone anus, set him on fire again, electrocute him, bash him with a large piece of wood, bash him with a big rock and then bash him with his own body parts.

If you comment please feel free to add more tortures but for now I am done.

Ulquiorra washed off the blood, "well that actually made me happy." Orihime stroked his chest and happily cheered, "You looked hot when you shoved the chainsaw into his ear hole."

Alucard licked his lips, "he actually tasted pretty good for a little fairy." Seras licked her lips, "I wish there were more."

Seras then takes out Twilight book, "wait it says here that there's an entire clan of them."

Everybody smiles their best Alucard smiles and make their way to the Cullen household.

"We're Here."

**The End**

**Review **


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